Why I’ll never stop hopping fences.

Over the weekend, I was confronted with a choice: go inside and join a group, or hop a fence and be with nature.

I’d been invited to a gathering by a friend, and was *supposed* to be acting sociable. But I wasn’t in the mood, so I hid in the bathroom. A woman came in. Her name was Uma and she had pixie hair. She said she was going outside, did I want to join? We pushed open a heavy door. The afternoon air was fresh and warm and a grove of trees rustled just beyond a chain-link fence. We sat and talked in the sun, then reached through the fence to pick blackberries. 

More than once, someone asked us to come back inside. Our rebellion seemed to bug them. But I was ready to take it one step further. To me, a fence doesn’t represent a barrier, it begs a challenge. You might say I have a problem with authority. 

Yet, I didn’t want to disrespect the friend who’d brought me there, and I know group mentality comes from an essentially positive place of wanting to protect the tribe, so I just about relented and went back in. Then a cat ran out of the trees! A little tabby with bright green eyes! She stopped and stared at me, daring me to come play. And I thought, if I’m an artist then my whole m.o. should be defining myself as separate from the group, and other existential reasonings that boil down to this: I’m not a fucking joiner. I hopped the fence!

And spent a soul-satisfying, life-affirming afternoon with the trees. I picked more blackberries. I peed in the bushes. I laid in the grass, looked at the clouds and knew the truth: our human experience is as infinite as the moon’s daily pursuit of the sun. What I mean is, happiness isn’t reserved for some people, only some of the time. I tend to forget this. 

Uma didn’t hop the fence, she let me do my thang. The best teachers know when to let a wild one roam. As the sky shifted and I made my way back to The Fence, I found myself getting caught in brambles. When I looked up from tugging my clothes free, I saw a well-worn path illuminated by the sun, just a few feet away.

Sometimes we choose a more difficult road, but it only takes a moment to walk back in the light. 




14 thoughts on “Why I’ll never stop hopping fences.

  1. “happiness isn’t reserved for some people, only some of the time ..” ha ha, I always knew and so many times been told, the smallest things can make me happiest girl … today it was your word’s turn. Cus I tend to forget too … loved it! 🙂

  2. Sincerest thanks! I can’t believe I waited so long to join the blogging community, having an audience is so rewarding, why I started doing this in the first place! Appreciate you reading and thanks for the motivation!

  3. Reblogged this on ERIN GRANAT and commented:

    I’m really fucking stoked on all the likes and new followers I got this week. Here’s a reblog of a post I think you fort sleepers will appreciate. Forever young!

  4. Group gatherings are not my thing either, for a variety of reasons. I always arrive with an “early exit strategy.” Occasionally, but only occasionally, surprise! A sudden unexpected joy. I encounter somebody in the group to whom I can relate…and stay a bit longer…

  5. Much like you always hopping the ‘fence’ to sneak past the bouncers and into Rum Bullions in college. No fake ID, not 21, no problem!

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