Feeling caught between my electronic daily life and the dandelion desires of my soul. I 100% want to build an online audience for my words, my movies, my me. I 100% want to stare at trees and drink the ocean, feel the moon. That’s a 200% contradiction. I love communicating, sharing, instatweetbooking my latest photo/feeling/idea. But I belong in wildflowers.
Creating “The Girl Behind the Glass” videos I shoot while inside the glass box at the Standard has been a revelation. Just me and the camera. I get to direct, edit and market myself, no middleman, just me straight to the viewer. It’s a practice in trusting my creative instincts, no second guessing myself.
But the challenge of getting the videos seen is like building a mountain one pebble at a time. But this is the norm of the 21st century performer. We’re our own muses, managers, and marketing machines. I am NOT complaining, don’t get me wrong. It’s an incredible opportunity to be emerging in the entertainment industry at this point in time, getting discovered could be as close as the nearest smartphone. But it’s overwhelming as fuck.
I don’t know why social media marketing myself and being in touch with my earthy soul feel mutually exclusive, but they do. Running off into the woods pulls my focus, and once I’m there I never want to come back. So I’ve decided to become the master of my 10’x10′ Koreatown front lawn. If that’s the nature I have in my care, than I shall be a good steward and revel in it everyday. I drink my coffee in the sun when I can, touch the velvet leaves on the bougainvillea and tell Mother Earth she’s looking damn sexy. I close my eyes and hope she’ll infuse me with life, taking in the helicopters overhead and the homeless lady rummaging through my trash, thanking them for contributing to the symphony of my life. We’re in this together after all. Balance is something worth “liking.”
My garden, my bougainvillea, my dream: